Dodged That Bullet

I am officially downgrading my World War III Alert from code "Sometime next week" to code "Probably not until the New Year. Probably"



Why am I so optimistic, you might ask? Well, I'm sure you've heard about the National Intelligence Estimate that more or less refuted everything Bush has been telling us about Iran's nuclear program. In short, the Estimate judges that, contrary to the 2005 report:



1) Iran suspended its program to develop nuclear weapons in 2003.

2) Iran has a reduced interest in producing any nuclear weapons at all.

3) Iran would be unlikely to be able to produce a nuclear weapon until 2015.



Good. That gives me 8 years to get my affairs in order.



Most interestingly, the Estimate believes that:

Tehran's decisions are guided by a cost-benefit approach rather than a rush
to a weapon irrespective of the political, economic, and military costs.
This, in turn, suggest that some combination of threats of intensified
international scrutiny and pressures, along with opportunities for Iran to
achieve its security, prestige, and goals for regional influence in other ways,
might--if perceived by Iran's leaders as credible--prompt Tehran to extend the
current halt to its nuclear weapons program.

So...Iran might, in fact, be open to more of a "carrot and stick" proposal, as opposed to the "beaten with a stick" option that Bush likes so much.



CNN reports on Bush's bold policy announcement as a result of the findings:

"no change"

Which makes sense in Bush-land. The President has a history of dismissing countervailing evidence or using it as support for his positions. I am a little surprised he doesn't want to make even a cosmetic change to his policy. Even the Iraq Study Group's findings led to the New Way Forward. I mean, that policy had the word new in it, even if it did seem a little familiar.



Not that I'm going to start singing the Iranian national anthem in the street or anything, but the estimate seems to indicate that, contrary to what the President would prefer us to believe, Tehran has listened to international pressure over the last four years. It seems like this would be a great opportunity to push beyond the "axis of evil" rhetoric, help Iran achieve its regional goals, and put this nuclear weapons thing to bed. As long as we monitor Iran closely, that should help us...avert...war. Oh.


Oh man. Bush must be really pissed. Now he's going to have to go ahead and work on a whole new reason to bomb someone.

I feel ya, buddy. We'll find you something to blow up.

The Videogame Protection Act of 2007

I follow local politics pretty closely, so things like Council Member Peter Vallone Jr. introducing a law against homework no longer surprise me. The Sun reports:

He plans to introduce a resolution next month calling for homework in public
schools to be limited to 2 1/2 hours a night and said he wants the Department of
Education to create a weekly homework-free night.

Vallone is on quite a streak lately. Within the last few months, he has announced plans to increase fines associated with dog fighting (on the back of the Michael Vick scandal and despite the fact that New York City has no known dog fighting problem, according to the ASPCA) and strengthen laws against looking at women.

Bloomberg responded to Vallone's ridiculous homework proposal with pretty much the best line in politics this year:

"I suspect if you're running for eighth grade class president, less
homework is a good campaign platform to work with."

In Vallone's defense, I ran for student body VP on a platform of "A Pretzel Machine in Every Cafeteria." This idea seems marginally better than that.

When Cougars Attack

At first glance, this was kind of disturbing.

But upon further review, I realized that it was nothing different than what happens in New York City pretty much every night, only in reverse. Creepy old dudes making financial arrangements with young girls may not be cool, but they are widespread. So I say Godspeed to the old chicks who are looking for love in Kenya. I would recommend, however, that perhaps the next time they seek to exploit an impoverished culture for their own sexual pleasure, they choose a continent where AIDS is just a little less prevalent, like South America. Or Antarctica. Or any of them. I guess that's a personal decision, though.

Also, I learned a lesson when searching for images for this post. Do not, under any circumstances, search for the following images at work:

cougar

urban cougar

sub-saharan cougar

creepy old guy, young girl

old girl young guy

tantamount to prostitution

Britney Spears

strapping kenyan man

old hairy balls

Or else you'll have a lot of explaining to do to IT.

Kenya beware

Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?

Bob Loblaw's Ad.

At the very least, this explains how the name is to be pronounced.

Blah Blah Blah

I just found out that real life was invaded by TV.

Before I continue to write, I absolutely insist that all of you go out and watch the entire run of Arrested Development. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Ok. At least promise me you'll try to make an effort to watch at least part of it. If it suits you.

Or not.

Whatever. Its in your best interest. It is, perhaps, the funniest thing you're going to find on DVD. The critics back me up. The TV viewers, sadly, did not.

This is not just a commercial for a defunct show. This is almost as pointless. This is a post predicated on the reader having watched said show. If you haven't done what I asked by now, you might as well save your time and stop reading this post.

As it turns out, Bob Loblaw's Law Blog (say it fast), a blog written by a character played by Scott Baio, has made the leap from my DVD player to the interweb. It describes itself as:

A daily summary of the best (and worst) of federal appellate decisions

This website is intended purely for entertainment. It is not intended to be a
comprehensive review of appellate law. It is not intended as a legal research tool. Nothing in this blog should be interpreted as legal advice.

Despite the fact that nothing about that description sounds remotely like entertainment, it was a pretty solid move for some bored lawyer to capture web traffic via a (weak) pop culture reference. If a curious lawyer loved Arrested Development and happened to google the law blog, he would pretty much be a reader for life. On the other hand, if this is Scott Baio getting a little too much into his character, its a little disturbing.

I'm not sure how I feel about fictional things existing. Unicorns, I can handle, but law blogs make me nervous.

Why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?

Tis the Season...

...for striking!

First the taxi drivers, now stagehands and TV writers. Pretty soon, there will be no work done in this city by anyone. I hope the corner coffee guys don't get fed up with unfair labor practices.

A friend of mine was visiting for the weekend, so I decided to take her to the one place all tourists want to visit when they're in New York: Broadway.

Fortunately, with the stagehands on strike, we didn't have to see any boring plays. Instead, we got to experience the fun of a real, honest to goodness labor dispute. There was much sign-holding, circle-walking, and scowling. Also, opression by The Man.

The interesting things is that many stagehands get significant breaks throughout their work day. This could be as much as 3 hours of time off during a typical shift. Since all the stagehands had to picket for their entire shifts, the strike, in many cases, meant more time on the job than work would have.

Not only is that ironic, but it kind of works against them at the negotiating table.

Jeter Screws New York

Its been a bad week for Derek Jeter.

Even as the brothers Steinbrenner and A-Rod hammer out the final details on a record setting, discounted contract, Jeter finds himself exposed as a tax cheat.

Its like Christmas for Mets and Red Sox fans.

Jeter's $20 million a year is a reward as much for his on field play as it is for his representation as the face of the Yankees and, by extension, New York City. Its absurd for him to claim residency in Florida to avoid taxes on a technicality. Furthermore, HE LIVES IN NEW YORK CITY. He's always here. There isn't a day in his life, since 1996, that hasn't been documented by Page 6 or the other tabloids. Who did he think he was going to fool?

I know there's nothing that this man can do to hurt his relationship with Yankee fans. People just do not think rationally when it comes to Derek Jeter. I'm going to say for the hundredth time that his jump throw from the SS/3B gap is a weak play, due to his limited range and quickness, not a brilliant play by a defensive wizard. See? No one cares. But I hope someone, somewhere will take into consideration that if this allegation is true, Derek Jeter selfishly withheld significant money from New York that should have gone into its schools, infrastructure, and public safety.

This City has given a lot to Jeter. New Yorkers' support for the Yankees and #2 are directly responsible for his ability to become a millionaire many times over. Meanwhile, the Yankees are getting significant tax breaks to build a stadium that will increase their ability to make money. That puts the tax burden more squarely on the shoulders of everyday New Yorkers, especially when affluent members of the tax base opt out.

This was not a classy move.

I'm probably angrier about this than I should be. I think its because I'm not too excited about Yorvit Torrealba.